I (Doris) used to have bipolar disorder with psychotic features.
I hallucinated every night for nearly 14 years. I heard ghosts.

When I heard these ghosts, I cried. I begged God to save me. I drank vodka. I passed out. I turned up my radio full blast. I turned on all lights. The ghosts hated lights.

I did whatever I needed to do to keep what was left of my sanity.

When I was manic, my mind raced. Thoughts sped through my brain so fast that it exploded. I had a nervous breakdown at 19. My mind was gone.

I should have been somewhere shopping or watching a movie. Or dancing or giggling or smiling at the sun, but I wasn’t.

I was locked in my room wanting to die. There are no words for clinical depression. It’s as if your body can’t produce one neurotransmitter that controls happiness. Not one!

I would cry and dream of dying. I cried and slept and dreamed of suicide. It was a vicious unending cycle.

When I was 19, I never thought I’d live to 21. And never in a million years did I think I’d be the 34 years I am today.

Thankfully, my ride with bipolar disorder ended six years ago when I learned a hormone imbalance called “estrogen dominance” was making me sick. Since taking progesterone (to correct this imbalance), my mania, depression, suicidal thoughts, migraines and “ghosts” have gone away.

Sometimes I can’t even believe what’s happened to me. It’s a miracle.

I’m telling you this so that if you have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, I encourage you to research hormone balance as a treatment option too.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I want you to know that hormones, specifically estrogen and progesterone, regulate our mental and physical health.

And it’s important you understand that imbalances between theses two hormones can cause a wide array of mental and physical problems including bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

If you suspect a hormone imbalance is making you sick– don’t be afraid to look into hormone balance as a treatment option.

We can make bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, more manageable, one hormone, one body– one person at a time!

Let’s do it!

Best of luck to you,

Doris

The late Dr. John Lee was a visionary. He recognized estrogen dominance was condition that millions of men and women had, but one that was rarely being treated or acknowledged by the medical community. But just because something isn’t recognized, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Estrogen dominance is a condition that Dr. Lee coined. It’s a condition where estrogen operates in the body without sufficient amounts of progesterone to balance it. So estrogen dominance and progesterone deficiency, can be used interchangeably.

It’s a condition that I had and one that I now manage, thanks to the help of Dr. Lee.

I was 19 when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And the only reason I went to the doctor was because I had stopped bathing and brushing my teeth. I went to the doctor for no other reason.

I called my family doctor and told the nurse about my symptoms. After talking with her, she referred me to a specialist. I had no idea the specialist I was being referred to was a psychiatrist and that my life would change forever.

I laugh now because it’s clear. I was being referred to a psychiatrist because the nurse saw and heard things in me that told her I was mentally sick.

So I made it to my referral appointment and told my psychiatrist how I was having problems bathing and brushing my teeth and sleeping. I told her how depressed I was and how I cried all the time and how I wished I were dead.

She asked me if anything stressful or tragic had happened in my life recently during that time to cause those feelings. I told her “no.” My life wasn’t perfect, but nothing had happened in my life to warrant those feelings.

So that was it. We talked and I wanted to die.

After we talked, she left her office and came back with a pamphlet and prescription pad.

She asked me if I had ever heard of bipolar disorder and she said the reason that she had asked was because that’s what I had.

She told me I had bipolar disorder like I had won a prize. Like I had chosen the right curtain on “Let’s Make a Deal” and a shiny Ford Escort was waiting on me.

I was sick. A piece of me died.
I wanted to turn back time. I wished I had never gone to the doctor.
I wanted to go back to being that carefree girl who wasn’t bathing or brushing her teeth, but at least she thought she was healthy.

I would have given anything to be that girl again.

So from that moment on, I became determined to deny my disease. I suppressed every memory of that day whenever it sprang up.

I ran.

The doctor gave me prescription for Zoloft. I swallowed one pill and flushed the rest down the toilet. She told me to make an appointment to see her again in two weeks. I basically told her to kiss me where the sun didn’t shine and skipped out the door.

I was wreck.

I’m not against psychiatry or psychiatrists, I just was afraid to take powerful medicines when no one really knew what was causing my disease or where it had come from.

And so I did more running. I had a nervous breakdown. I was raped.
I was alcohol poisoned twice. Hospitalized once.
I had wild, random sex. I was living on the edge.
My thoughts raced so fast they skipped out of my brain. I was in outer space.
My headaches hurt so bad I always felt as though I was having aneurysms
I hated my life.

And then the ghosts, the wretched ghosts that visited me every night. Howling beside my bed while I tried to sleep.

So I slept with the lights and TV on and music playing just to drown them out.

This was my nightly routine for over 14 years.

I look back now and I say, I was hallucinating. But at the time, I didn’t know what was going on. I just assumed I was cursed and that God hated me.

Do you know how horrible that feels? To think that the Creator of the universe hates you so much that he allows demons to torment you?

It’s not fun, but it was the only way I could make sense of it.

It was only after my hormones became balanced that I realized I wasn’t cursed and that I finally experienced relief from all of these symptoms.

So at 28, I was sick and unemployed. I had to face my disease and *cringe* file disability so that I wouldn’t become homeless.

I did not want to be 28 and disabled. I wanted to be skinny dipping at the beach, not dreaming of ways to kill myself.

I was at my bottom and I decided that I was going to stop running and to talk to my Maker.

One thing that this disease did for me is it made me feel closer to God, because so many days I knew that He was the only One who know how I felt. The disease isolated me from family and friends and sometimes I felt detached from my own body.

I prayed to God and said, “God, I know You made me and You know everything about me. And You know that I’m sick. If it’s in Your will for me to die sick, I promise I won’t try and kill myself anymore but please give me the grace and strength to bear it. But if I’m not supposed to be sick and there is a way I can be healthy, please show me the way.”

And He did.

Shortly after my prayer I attended a women’s health conference and there was a nurse that presented there. I remember she talked about leading a healthy lifestyle which included a balanced diet and exercise.

After the expo I visited the tables and booths that were set up and filled my bag with the free goodies they had.

When I got home, I dumped my loot on the floor and looked at all the cups, pencils, notepads and pens I had received. And there a pamphlet I had thrown in my bag too. The pamphlet read: “The Signs and Symptoms of PMS.”

The symptoms read:
*Depression
*Irritability
*Mood Swings
*Crying
*Bloating
*Headaches
*Fatigue
*Concentration Problems

After reading the list, I said I have all of those symptoms times ten.

I knew PMS was hormonal and so I figured that what I was dealing with was hormone related too.

Every time I researched hormones and hormone imbalance Dr. Lee’s name always came up. It was clear he was the authority on the topic and that if I wanted to know about hormone balance, I needed to read his work.

And so I did. I went to my local Border’s bookstore and bought a copy of his book, “Hormone Balance Made Simple” and read it in one night.

Reading Dr. Lee’s book was like breathing fresh air. I had long suspected my hormones were linked to my moods but every time I shared my suspicions with my doctor, whether it was my ob-gyn or psychiatrist they all but laughed in my face.

And here was Dr. Lee telling me how hormone imbalance can cause mental and physical sickness and he gave instructions on how to fix it.

Step 1) was to take hormones only if you need them, Step 2) take bioidentical hormones instead of synthetic ones and Step 3) take hormones in physiological amounts only (the amounts the body makes naturally when it’s healthy).

I followed Dr. Lee’s advice and balanced my hormones and my bipolar disorder went away.

At the time, I had no idea that my hormones were causing my bipolar disorder, I thought they were only aggravating it, but I was glad to find out that they were the cause.

Today, I continue to follow Dr. Lee’s steps for hormone balance. I take progesterone 10-14 days a month depending on my symptoms and the rest is history.

I’m glad that we live during a time that so much is known about hormones and I’m even more elated that there is something we can do about it.

I know I’ve said a mouthful, but it needed to be said. Estrogen dominance/progesterone deficiency can cause bipolar disorder. And if your bipolar disorder is caused by this deficiency, it can be managed and you don’t have to live with the disease.

If you have any questions, comment below or email me. And if there are any typos in this piece email me too. I don’t have an editor, it’s just me managing the blog.

Best of luck to you!

Doris

For more information on the work of Dr. Lee click here.

I know being sick isn’t fun, that’s why I started this blog. That’s why I wrote my book. I did all of this to let you know that if your mental illness is caused by a hormone imbalance, you can manage it, you can fix it and hopefully you can live symptom-free, like I am.

I’m not a supernatural, extra special type of human being who holds the secret to good health. I’m just a woman who wanted to be well. I wanted to live what was left of my life with some decency. Mental illness had robbed me of so much.

It shattered relationships with friends and other loved ones. I felt like an animal when I was too sick to bathe or brush my teeth. I was so gone many days. I would cry and scream at ghosts that were coming through my window, all while longing to die. Who wants to live like that? I didn’t.

And I’m gonna take a guess and say that you don’t either.

I’m not the only person who can get healthy. You can get well too.
Read. Learn all you can about estrogen dominance. Estrogen dominance is a real condition and it’s causing real mental illness in so many of us and it’s not going to go away, unless we treat it.

You are doing the right thing by coming to this page. Keep searching. Keep looking for answers.
Read Dr. John Lee’s books and Dr. C.W. Randolph and Dr. Michael Platt and Dr. James Wilson’s books. The information is out there is just taking some time to get introduced into clinical practice, but it’s out there.

Good luck to you!

Doris

I think it’s safe to say that most people with mental illness want to be rid of it. I’ve spoken to a few, a very small minority, who say they “like” the eccentricity the diseases cause.

Well, not me! And I’m gonna take a guess that you feel just as I do.

That’s why you’re here. You’re here because you’re ready to take steps—no not steps, you’re ready to take leaps and bounds towards overcoming your disease.

I can’t stress this enough—I wouldn’t be well today if I hadn’t balanced my hormones.

For many years, I hoped and prayed and wished that my disease would go away and that I’d be healthy.
But no matter how much wishing and praying I did, I never got well.

I didn’t get well until I mixed some hard work and action into what I was hoping for.

My recovery happened very quickly once I started working. I starting reading and visiting my doctor and asking questions and questioning my doctors and paying attention to my body and symptoms. And when I started doing all these things I came across the work of the late Dr. John Lee and his work on estrogen dominance.

After reading his work, it was clear I had this condition and that it was causing so many of my symptoms. I followed Dr. Lee’s guidelines for getting well and my life changed forever.

I’m so glad I’m free!

I want to encourage you to strive for the same freedom. I want you to have faith and to dream. But also, with your faith, mix in some hard work, sweat and dedication and then be prepared to soar!

Good luck to you!

I get private e-mail messages from many of you and I enjoy getting your emails, but also feel free to leave comments on the things I write as well. If you are unfamiliar with leaving comments on Word Press blogs, I understand. I had to get used to the format too.

If you want to comment on something I’ve said or if you have a question, let’s have a conversation. You can leave your comments or concerns by pressing the “Comments” hyperlink that is located beneath the title of every post.

Don’t be afraid to comment. Someone else may have the same question or concern.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Doris

I followed the Dr. John Lee’s 3 Rules of Hormone Balance to get well.  Dr. Lee wrote the best-selling books, “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause” and “Dr. Lee’s Hormone Balance Made Simple.”

Below are Dr. Lee’s Rules of Hormone Balance:

Rule #1: Take Progesterone Only if you Need It (If you have clear symptoms or your levels are measurably low). *Click here for Dr. Lee’s low progesterone symptoms list.

Rule #2: Take Bioidentical Progesterone Instead of Synthetic Progestins

and

Rule #3: Take Progesterone in Physiological Amounts Only.

I discovered I needed progesterone based on my symptoms. I read through Dr. Lee’s progesterone deficiency list and I realized I had most of the symptoms! Headaches:  check.  Fibrocystic breasts:  check.  Fatigue:  check, check, check!  It was clear my body needed progesterone.

I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), this is a syndrome where ovulation doesn’t occur regularly.  If there is no ovulation, progesterone isn’t produced.  So taking progesterone made sense to me.

You don’t have to have PCOS to have a progesterone deficiency.  You could have luteal insufficiency.  Luteal insufficiency is a condition where you ovulate, but progesterone production is still inadequate.  If you have PCOS or luteal insufficiency, you may experience heavy menstrual cramps and/or heavy menstrual bleeding.  Fertility problems are also common.

So how can you tell if you need progesterone?  Take a look at the “progesterone-deficient” symptom list found here. And discuss these symptoms with a doctor who has experience correcting hormone imbalances.

If you don’t know a doctor who does this type of work, try contacting your local compounding pharmacy.  Many compounding pharmacies keep an associated list of doctors who use their pharmacy.  Ask your local compounding specialist to refer you to a doctor who prescribes progesterone and specifically to one that works with people with mood disorders.

To find the compounding pharmacy nearest you, contact the International Academy of Compounding Pharmacies at www.iacprx.org or you can call their toll free referral line at 1-800-927-4227.

If you are taking medications, keep taking your medications as prescribed and work on getting your hormones balanced at the same time. Only your prescribing doctor can wean you off of your medications if and when appropriate.

Continue to educate yourself about hormone balance.  Read all you can.  The more you know, the more confident you will feel when you approach your doctor.

Best of luck to you!

Doris

You can beat mental illness. If your symptoms are caused by an imbalance between progesterone and estrogen, your symptoms can be controlled and your disease managed. Kick your disease to the curb!

Imbalances can be fixed. Depression alleviated. Voices stopped. Joy overflowing.

I’m laughing at my disease.

I’m not afraid of it anymore.

I’m free.

Click here to listen to the song I’m singing. I want you to sing it too.

Hi everyone,

I haven’t written in a while because I felt as though I had nothing to say. I felt like a skipping record, stuck on repeat: Hormones impact mental health. Hormones impact mental health. Hormones impact mental health. Arrrggghhhh!!!!!

I felt like my message was falling on deaf ears.

So I stopped talking.
But not tonight.

Tonight, I want to talk to you.

I know what it feels like to be bipolar. I know nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, ghosts and demons. I know what it feels like to have seizures. To faint in hallways. To use vodka as a sleeping aid. I know how it feels to be broken.

I don’t want to go back. And if you are sick, I want you to be able to come out of your sickness as I have.

Thankfully, I’ve been able to manage my disease successfully for many years. It’s been a blur, but it’s been fun. Sometimes I can’t believe all that has happened. It’s surreal.

I go to work every day. I blend in. And dare I say it… I feel normal.

I didn’t have those things when I was sick and it wasn’t because I didn’t want them. It was because they weren’t available to me. I was too busy fighting off ghosts and demons and praying in closets to feel normal.

But I’m so thankful for today. I’m thankful that we know hormones impact our mental health and I’m thankful there are good doctors out there who can help us to correct the imbalances that so many of us have been born with.

And that’s all I have to say. No skipping records here.